Entering the dating scene in your 50s means it’s time to reassess some conventional and seemingly normal relationship rules and guidelines that might no longer align with your current phase in life. At this point, you shouldn’t be as finicky and fussy about who you meet, and you especially shouldn’t be so judgmental after just one date! Instead, you must learn to embrace a more authentic and accepting mindset to help you build connections based on genuine compatibility, understanding, respect, and love.
You Should Play Hard to Get
When you play hard to get, you run the risk of presenting an inauthentic persona in front of the person you’d like to start a relationship with. This can lead to problems involving deception, manipulation, lack of reciprocity, and more. Additionally, when you’re in your 50s, you have much less time to find a partner for life. When you play hard to get, you might attract the wrong kind of people, thus increasing the chances of you not finding the right person for you.
You Should Never Date Someone With Baggage
We get it; it can be scary to start a relationship with someone who’s not fully healed from their old relationships or past trauma. However, in your 50s, you should realize that everyone has some baggage in life; if we continue to avoid meeting people just because of their past, we won’t be able to find anyone “suitable.” Aside from this, think about it: wouldn’t it be great to find someone who isn’t ashamed of their imperfections?
Whoever You Date Must Complete You
When you’re searching for a man or a woman to “complete” you, then you might want to consider the fact that you aren’t ready to date anyone at all. Regain, an online counseling platform, shares, “You can function with less psychological and emotional luggage when you not only love yourself but have a solid understanding of who you are. Additionally, you can have more logical expectations of your partner; a partner is not meant to ‘fix’ us, as only we can do that for ourselves.”
All Responsibilities and Chores Must Be Split Equally or 50/50 All the Time
In an ideal world, we want all the burdens we have to face to be split evenly or 50/50. However, this isn’t simply doable for most, if not all, households—and it’s completely, 100% okay. Being in a partnership with your significant other means you work and thrive off of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. You and your partner can have different roles, but it doesn’t mean your commitment to a loving relationship isn’t equal or is unbalanced.
A Healthy Relationship Is One Where the Couple Never Fights
On the outside, you may think the perfect couple is the couple who never fights. However, those who are older and wiser should understand that conflict is natural in every kind of relationship. Verywell Mind explains, “When partners fight within an environment that allows clear expression, free of cruel words—this can help strengthen their bond.”
Guys Should Always Be the Ones Who Make the First Move
It’s an unfair stereotype or assumption that men should always make the first move. When you’re in your 50s, it’s time to realize that even if you are a woman, you have a right and the power to fight for what you want! In fact, many men find women who make the first move more attractive.
Love Means Always Putting Your Partner’s Needs Before Yours
When you’re in a relationship, you should prioritize not only your partner but yourself, too. You should never betray yourself or your needs to fulfill your partner’s because doing so will only put you down and, worse, make you dependent on how they treat you. Additionally, you’ll be left with nothing if you give and give without receiving anything. When you’re put in a spot, always remember that you will never be able to help someone else when you yourself aren’t running on a full tank of fuel.
There Is No Instance Where a Woman Pays on Dates; It Should Always Be the Man Who Does So
We get it; men can have that desire to be the sole provider at all times. However, as a woman, you should remember that relationships and the things that come with them should be equal, including paying for dates here and there. You don’t have to always cover the bill, but neither does your significant other!
Cheating Automatically Equates to a Breakup
This may be a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, cheating doesn’t always have to automatically equate to a breakup. Though unconventional, some spouses even prefer their partners to cheat for several reasons. One was explained in an article published by HuffPost, saying, “In some instances, guys are doing what they can to keep their family together and keep everyone happy; what people forget sometimes is that some wives don’t want their cheating man to leave. They turn a blind eye to infidelity because it suits them and, in some situations, encourage it because it stops their husband from pestering them for sex; sometimes, they are cheating themselves!”
The Man in the Relationship Should Be the Breadwinner of the Family
It’s an archaic tradition to view men as the only option for a family’s breadwinner. If you’re in your 50s and want to work and can work better and provide better than your partner, then who’s stopping you from doing so? The Institute for Family Studies shares, “More women are family breadwinners today. New data from the American Community Survey suggest that among married, heterosexual couples in the US, a quarter of wives, or about 15 million, are the primary breadwinners in their family.”
The First Year of Your Relationship Defines the Rest of Your Lives Together
Relationships are ever-evolving, and those in their 50s should understand this. First and foremost, they can attest that they are much different today compared to how they were in their 20s. Because of this, one cannot truly be sure of how the future goes. Your relationship will evolve and change just as you do!
Thinking That Meeting Someone Organically Is the Only Way to Find a Date
Many still think online dating is a taboo in 2024. However, the dating scene isn’t the same as a decade ago. If you’re in your 50s trying to find a partner for life, then maybe it’s time to consider giving online dating a go. There are, in fact, many different dating apps that primarily target middle-aged people or senior citizens, such as SilverSingles.
You Should Never Go to Bed Angry With Your Partner
When people get married in their 20s or 30s, they are told to never go to bed angry with their spouse. However, as people get older, they realize that this advice doesn’t always work well. When you try to stick to this advice, you get pressured into resolving conflicts quickly when you haven’t even been given the time to process and contemplate things. In the long run, this may escalate tensions further and lead to couples bringing up old wounds.
Relationships Should Always End in Marriage
When you’re in your 50s and entering the dating scene, it’s time to get it out of your head that all your relationships must end in marriage. At this point in your and your potential partner’s lives, you may not need or desire to validate your commitment or love for each other through the sacrament of marriage. After all, relationship success isn’t reliant on a piece of paper.
Forgoing Quality Time Together
Quality time is an essential foundation in any stage of a relationship, regardless of one’s age. However, this is even more important when starting a relationship in your 50s and beyond, as investing in meaningful experiences with your partner can foster and strengthen your bond.
If Your Partner Truly Loves You, They Can Anticipate Your Needs and Wants—Even if You Don’t Tell Them
If you’re dating in your 50s, you should be wise enough to recognize that no matter how much your partner loves you, they’re not mind readers! They can never 100% tell what you think or feel if you don’t communicate it. At this point in your life, you must understand the importance of communication, understanding, and acceptance in mature relationships. If not, and you always rely on your partner’s guesses, you might face many unmet expectations and misunderstandings.
For a Relationship to Work, You Must Have Exactly the Same Interests
No two people will ever be exactly alike, especially partners, as they’ve grown up as two individuals with different family traditions, cultures, and more. However, this doesn’t mean you should close yourself off to people you think are different from you, especially if you’re trying to find someone to date in your 50s. Remember that compromise is a significant foundation of the relationship, which can only shine through if you’re open and accepting of each other’s similarities and differences!
You Need to Be Intimate With Your Partner for a Set Number of Days per Week
If you’re in your 50s and no longer as intimate with your partner as you were with them in your 20s, don’t fret! This is a completely normal part of the process of aging. The National Council on Aging explains, “It’s common for women to experience a drop in sexual desire and function beginning in their late 40s and early 50s. For older men, this shift may not happen until their 60s and 70s.”
Judging Someone After the First Date
In your 50s, it’s easy to think you have or know it all. However, no matter what stage in life you’re in or the circumstances, you should never judge a person—especially after your first time meeting them. People are complex and can be contradictory; sometimes, you need to give them more time to reveal more of themselves to you before making a decision.
Having Unrealistic Expectations
At any stage in life, having unrealistic expectations would only lead to disappointment. This can even be worse in your 50s because you’ll feel like you’re wasting time by not being able to build genuine, strong connections with others. However, you must recognize that dating and relationships can be a whirlwind. While you should hold yourself and others to a high standard, you must never dictate love and commitment based on unrealistic expectations; instead, make sure your relationship is founded on mutual respect, understanding, and love.