20 Most Common Reasons People Choose to Live the Single Life

In today’s society, romantic relationships are often considered the norm. However, many individuals deliberately choose to remain single. There are various reasons why people make this decision, and these reasons are highly personal and significant to them. We’ve gathered some of the most common reasons people choose to live the single life, so read through to the end to see if any of them resonate with you!

You Want to Maintain Your Defenses and Walls

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You might have encountered at least one relationship that has left you in shambles throughout life. Because of this, people typically get traumatized and become afraid to start anew. They have their defenses up whenever they meet new people because they fear getting lied to or hurt again.

You Have Priorities, and Dating Isn’t One of Them

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Some people don’t vehemently reject the idea. For most, it simply isn’t a priority. Instead of actively looking for a partner, their jobs, dreams, or hobbies seem more important to them. For people who don’t believe dating is a priority, their mindset is “if it happens, it happens.”

You Don’t Want a Relationship—Period

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One of the main—and probably most important—reasons you remain single is because you don’t want to be in a relationship. People could go on and on about it not being time, you being stuck in a routine, or more. However, there’s no better reason to turn down a relationship than the fact that you simply want to stay single.

You Want to Stick To Your Current Routine

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Humans are creatures of habit. After a while of being single, people usually establish a new routine that they believe is their safe space. Because of this, they find it hard to let go of that routine to start anew with a partner. They fear any sort of change because they’re afraid of what they might lose when change happens.

You Are Too Shy or Introverted to Date

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You’ll never find someone to date if you stay home or don’t talk to anyone. This is why dating is challenging for introverts or people who are too shy. Introverts, after all, find it draining to talk to others—especially if they are strangers.

“The One” Hasn’t Come Yet

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Some people date and date and date and just stop. They get tired of meeting people who are simply not for them. They want to find that one person they’ll spend the rest of their lives with. However, in reality, this can be a hard thing to do.

You Want to Focus on Yourself

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In many relationships, people tend to lose sight of themselves. They get so engrossed and focused on making their partners happy that they forget to take some time to care for themselves. Though this isn’t a marker for a healthy relationship, many people choose to remain single because they feel it’s an inevitable outcome.

You Think You Won’t Find Someone With a Compatible Lifestyle

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Finding someone who clicks with you is a must in relationships. Shared values, interests, and communication styles are all things that help people within the relationship thrive. Verywell Mind shares, “Compatibility is an important ingredient in relationships because it is the basis of how well you and your partner get along together.” However, because most people find it hard to find a partner they instantly click with, they feel unmotivated to find and start a new relationship.

You Want to Have Freedom of Choice

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It’s a common misconception that dating creates a lack of freedom of choice. While it may happen to some relationships, remember that it’s not normal and healthy, nor is it the kind of relationship you should pursue. Boundaries Books explains, “Where there is control or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.”

You Want to Sustain Financial Independence

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Aside from lifestyle compatibility, most people think financial compatibility is also needed in relationships. They find it hard to find people who are as financially independent as them or at least have the same values when it comes to saving, earning, and money as a whole. A study by The Ascent showed that 67% of respondents agreed that financial independence was crucial for a happy and healthy relationship.

You Enjoy Your Independence

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While people feel the need to find someone to depend on, some are just fiercely independent. They want to do anything and everything by themselves. So, as time passes, they realize that they prefer to do things alone and not depend on others.

You Foresee a Lot of Constraints in Your Relationship

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Fear of possible ridicule can stop a person from dating, but perhaps constraints are even more of a stronger reason. For example, people may believe that their inability to have children is a deal-breaker for others. They may also have a serious health issue that’s stopping them from finding a partner. People consider these possible constraints when starting a relationship; hence, they decide to remain single.

You’re Tired of Only Finding the “Wrong” People

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People want to feel good about themselves, so they typically look for partners who can give them exactly that. However, as the relationship goes on, one may slowly start to notice that this person isn’t what we expected them to be. Additionally, it’s an unfortunate fact that we tend to stick to our comfort zones—even if choosing someone who fits our comfort zone can turn out to be someone who’s not that desirable.

You Fear Competition

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Some people are so insecure that they feel like every person who talks to their significant other is trying to take them away from them. Though this isn’t true, they are crippled by this belief. So, instead of living life fearing competition with others, they remain single so as to not struggle against their unfounded thoughts.

You Think It’s “Not the Right Time”

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People get so caught up in life that they constantly think it’s not time for dating or a relationship. However, there’s never a perfect time for anything. Life is fleeting, and something can happen that can change your life in the blink of an eye. You should go for it and stop making excuses!

You’re Constantly Defending Your Single Status

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There’s nothing bad about being single. However, if you want to be in a relationship in the future and constantly defend your single status to others, you might slowly become too accustomed to the single life. You’ll either believe yourself that you don’t want a relationship, or you’ll send signals to potential partners that you don’t want to try to get to know them.

You Want to Avoid the Conflicts Associated With Relationships

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We get it; relationships can be extra tiring. After all, you’re living life not only thinking about yourself; you also have to consider another person—their happiness, successes, and dreams. However, if you’re fiercely independent or wired to prioritize only yourself, troubles and conflicts will undoubtedly arise in the relationship. Those who fear this would happen then choose to remain single to avoid any possible consequence or conflict.

You Have a Fear of Intimacy

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The fear of intimacy is almost always rooted in past traumatic experiences. Because of this deep-seated fear, people find it hard to connect to one another—both emotionally and physically. One may have such an intense fear of intimacy that they’re scared of getting too close to other people or finding comfort in others.

You Have Unhealed Wounds

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Trauma from the past is a significant hindrance to finding a healthy relationship in the present. It makes you build walls and defenses, fueling your fear of starting with someone. A New Outlook on Recovery Services notes, “When this trauma is left unresolved, and your experience of yourself is one of not being whole—of somehow being broken—you are likely to bring the footprints of this to your relationships. To have healthy relationships, you must first have a healthy sense of your own being and place in the world.”

You Are Too Picky or Have Unrealistic Expectations

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No one in this world is perfect, and if you constantly have unrealistic expectations of another person, you’ll never be able to find a partner—especially a partner for life. For example, due to your unrealistic expectations, your current girlfriend or boyfriend may feel overwhelmed, overpressured, and stressed in your relationship. These negative emotions are not what relationships are about, so if they constantly harbor these feelings, your relationship will crumble sooner rather than later.

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Author: Karen Danao


Karen is a writer and also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, she is someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics she loves writing about! However, her true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.