18 Things That Stop Older Men From Socializing With Others

Socializing can be a pain for older men; retirement blues, health concerns, and even the lack of energy and money are all obstacles for middle-aged and older men to engage and interact in their social circles. However, social health is essential to boost one’s brain health and lessen the chances of someone developing dementia. So, while it’s still up to you whether you want to socialize or not, maybe finding a balance is a better option!

Their Personalities Have Changed Amid the Pandemic

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A study by Rowan University showed that men are far more introverted than women. When the pandemic happened, those who were extroverted became introverted, and those who were already introverted became even more introverted. For this reason, more and more older men find it hard to find the motivation to go out, socialize, and spend time with others.

They Feel as if They’ve Socialized Enough in Their 20s or 30s

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A person’s 20s is the peak of their social lives. They could get a random call or text late at night about a party or a get-together, and they’d be out of bed in a second, partying till dawn the next day. However, it’s all about taking a break once they reach their late 30s or 40s. In fact, people in this age group find it harder and harder to meet with even one friend just because their calendars and free times don’t match!

They Need More Time to Rest and Recharge

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If you’re a man in your 40s or 50s who’s starting to refuse to go out and socialize with friends, well, it’s not just because you think you’re older and past your prime; instead, it’s a phase! The moment you reach 30, your testosterone levels drop by 1 or 2% every year. Then, when you reach the big 4-0, your sleep quality begins to diminish. This is why you feel as if you need more time to rest and recharge, therefore deciding to stay in instead of going out.

They Get Exhausted in the Blink of an Eye

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Aside from more scientific reasons, people in their 30s and 40s are usually in the thick of their careers. They’d need to work more than eight hours daily to sustain their and their families’ needs. A user on Reddit shared, “I work 10 to 13 hours most days—still have to fix all the broken or worn out shit around the house and cars.”

They Believe That Socializing Is Draining

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Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, socializing can be pretty exhausting, and you can easily feel overwhelmed and drained by the interactions you have with other people. When you no longer find joy in hanging out with others, you need to start considering that you might already be socially drained. Therefore, older men may find themselves needing to detach from social situations for longer periods to recharge.

They Crave the Peace and Quiet

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Men in their 30s and older usually work more than 8 hours a day, interacting with all sorts of people. Then, when they get home, they have to care for their kids, leaving them only an hour or two a day that’s only to themselves. Because of this, sometimes, they want to be in their own company; they just want some peace and quiet!

They Want to Prioritize Doing Things That Make Them Happy

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Global English Editing argues that men who become happier as they age adopt a couple of daily habits that change their lives, one of which is pursuing their passions. When people pursue their passions, they allow joy, creativity, and a sense of purpose to enter their lives. If socializing is not something they’re passionate about or enjoy doing, then they’re not going to do it simply because they now know the value of pursuing the things that truly spark joy in their lives.

They Don’t Have a Lot of Friends and Don’t Have the Inclination to Make New Ones

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A study by The University of Manchester has concluded that women are much more likely than men to make genuine, deep, and lasting friendships because men are more fickle and calculating about who they should be friends with. Because of this, as time passes, older men find it increasingly apparent that they don’t have a lot of close friends they could hang out with. And, because of their innate personalities, they also have no inclination to make new friends with whom they can socialize.

Their Friends Are Actually Their Wife’s Friend’s Husbands

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In line with men’s lack of genuine friends, most realize that the friends they currently hang out with are their wives’ friends’ husbands. At the end of the day, they’re just brought together by a similar situation, and they don’t become friends by an organic series of events. So, when something untoward happens, such as separation or divorce, men find themselves without companions because the people they once considered their friends before were just present because of their connections with their ex-partner.

They Don’t Need the Extra Socialization

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Men who work are already stuck socializing with people—colleagues, clients, bosses, and more—throughout the day, so they don’t enjoy raising their energy levels to socialize with even more people outside of work. A user from Reddit shared, “I work in retail, and I spend 40 hours a week talking with people and socializing. I’m an introvert by nature, but can fake being an extrovert though it leaves me completely drained come the end of the week. The last thing I want to do is go back out into the world and surround myself with people.”

They’ve Decided to Quit Drinking

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Going out is synonymous with drinking. However, some older men have decided to quit drinking either for health issues or to save money. So, once they quit drinking, they immediately equate it to having no reason to go out anymore.

They Believe in Quality Over Quantity

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As men get older, they have less and less time and energy for socializing, so they prioritize spending them with people who truly matter to them. They don’t want to go out and party with dozens of strangers. Instead, they much prefer to spend time with people they have close bonds with, have deep conversations with them, or pursue hobbies they all enjoy.

They Have Retirement Blues

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Men who have been working most of their lives may find it challenging to get out into the social scene after they’ve retired. For one, they’ve spent years around colleagues-turned-friends. So, once they’ve retired and these connections are broken, it’ll feel like they need to start from scratch to find new friends to hang out with. For this reason, some men might think it’s too much work to socialize again.

They Enjoy or Even Prefer Spending Time With Their Pets Than With Other People

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When asked, most men would much rather spend time with their pets, particularly their dogs, than with other people. Aside from the possibility of social exhaustion, a study showed that men are much more inclined to develop a human-canine bond than a human-human relationship, mainly because the emotional connection one can build with a dog is consistent and everlasting, even with a shorter commitment time. As Mark Twain famously said, “The more I get to know people, the more I like my dog.”

They’re Bothered by Their Health Issues

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As people get older, they get increasingly susceptible to catching chronic illnesses, such as cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, hypertension, and more. Because of this, taking care of one’s health becomes men’s utmost priority compared to partying and hanging out with friends. Additionally, since going out is often equated to drinking, older men are less inclined to participate. After all, alcohol abuse is frequently associated with the worsening of certain health conditions.

They Simply Don’t Have Enough Money to Spare

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Let’s face it; going out can get pretty expensive! According to Ramsey Solutions, “Americans spend an average of $3,639 eating out each year—roughly $300 each month.” This is a significant sacrifice, especially if someone’s the breadwinner of their family. For this reason, men decide to stop going out to save more, as they don’t want to spend their hard-earned money that’s already hard enough to come by.

They’re Always Disappointed by Other People

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As people age, they become less tolerant of fake and two-faced people. If others keep disappointing them, they’ll eventually get tired and decide to put less energy into people and things that don’t benefit them.

They Value Their Much-Needed Alone Time

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After a long day at work, people sometimes need a couple of hours to themselves without distractions. However, older or middle-aged men don’t get to do this as often, as they usually have other responsibilities at home, such as helping with the chores or the kids. Because of this, when they get an opportunity for some time alone, they usually jump at this chance, even if it means forgoing their time to socialize with friends.

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Author: Karen Danao


Karen is a writer and also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, she is someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics she loves writing about! However, her true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.